Most people that come to Thailand and Koh Chang in particular are great, absolutely great, they really are… But if you are wondering if you are a bad tourist, then just read on and see if you fit the profile – you probably won’t – but I bet you know someone who does! If you do fit the profile maybe its time to think deeply about what you do and how you travel.
Thailand Is Cheap –You’re Cheaper:
So how is it that you can afford to fly all the way to Thailand and then have to complain when beer in a restaurant is actually more expensive than at 7-11? Or you need to mercilessly bargain for over an hour with a beach hawker over 10 baht? or get all pissy when a resort actually charges 100 Baht more than five years ago! My only theory is that you thought maybe the Thai government gives out free vouchers at the airport for free food and lodging – but you never got yours and now your pissed?
I am not saying to throw your money around like an idiot, but seriously, you’re on holidays and that 15 Baht difference between Pad Thai on the road or in a restaurant is a concern? I have seen people buy beer from 7-11 and take it to restaurants to drink – or better yet sit in a restaurant and eat food and drink beer they bought off the road – and then get all offended when the owner of the restaurant says they cannot.
When you figured out that you wanted to come to Thailand did you just hop on a plane and come? You didn’t budget one little bit? Come on, Thailand is not the most expensive country – why do you have to be the cheapest person here?
Just because you Scream it Louder and Slower does not mean they understand you.
It may be amazing but Thais and other nationalities do not understand your language at all. Nope, never took a class, don’t want to and could care less about speaking your language. I know you speak it back home and its great and all, but you might actually want to try speaking in either A: Thai Language B: Standard English.
I know both choices suck, but nobody really speaks Finnish, French, Russian – yes that’s right comrade!, or Arabic here. Screaming at the poor waiter in Bulgarian for cold beer is not going to do anything for you or them. Screaming at people in 7-11 does not work, they are 7-11 employees for god’s sake – not linguistic graduates. Be grateful they can speak at all. Stop screaming… just calm down. I can only think about how bad you must be back home… you are on vacation here -relaxing right?
Topless at the Beach:
Okay, this is a win and lose thing for me, some days topless is good, other days I want to wash my eyes out with acid to clear the image of 300Kg and 60+ age. But there is the thing; here in Thailand it is illegal and actually quite rude. Sure, if you have to go ahead and find a nice deserted spot, nobody will care. The middle of White Sands? No – not a good idea. This is not your country and I know it sucks, and maybe I should not have mentioned it, but it is Thailand and they are actually against this. Although a lot of Western and Thai guys flock to White Sands for the daily shows…
Or Speedos on the Road:
I can sort of understand Speedos at the beach, sort of… but please, please, please for the love of humanity – keep them at the beach and not around the villages! Nothing like a 200kg guy at 80 years old slowly waddling down the road – in Speedos! Have you noticed that most Thai men wear long pants and shirts? Just cover up a wee bit okay? Please…
A Three Week Vacation – with Violence:
Back home you’re a weekend warrior, a fighter, a brawler, a rock and roller – or most likely a soccer fanatic. Here you are just another person on holidays, so have a good time…
I understand that back home in the ghetto you are from a person so much as looking at you for more than .256 seconds means fight time. But here in Koh Chang and Thailand in general, we are a lot more laid back, we might even be friendly… we might even be welcoming. You on the other hand are like firecracker about to go off at the slightest provocation. If you feel like winding up in jail or being gang-beaten by 25 young Thai/Cambodian lads who love muay-thai, just feel free to start something – there are hospitals here. Even better just relax and have a good time.
Oh-So Sorry About the Food!
It must be a real bitch to get on a plane and fly 10,000 km+ and get off and not be able to find faux-gras, blue cheese, Kobe beef, sirloin prime cut filets and smoked bacon and such exactly like you get back home. Damn, these foreign countries are such a slum, I mean they don’t even have caviar or good escargot on any menu and the beer is not made in an abbey by Monks from an original recipe from 1675… much less choice in the local vineyards also…
Please, you are in Thailand, the Thai food is great. The Western food? Well, most cooks are pretty good but they are not graduates from The French Culinary Institute, nor will they be. You are in Thailand, they cook great food but the best food will be Thai food. Try the Thai food if the western food is bad or alternatively head to Bangkok and hit D’Sens or L’Normandy at the Mandarin Oriental… they have awesome world-class food just be sure to take your MasterCard… and have a high limit on it.
Home is Just So Much Better:
Back in (fill in country here) things are just so much better – I know, I know, Thailand is just a cesspit of something or another and nothing is like good ol’ wherever. You spent your holiday in a tropical land staying in cheapest hotel, eating the cheapest food and hanging out with people from other countries who have not so much as talked a Thai person beyond ordering a meal. And your experience has been to hang out at the local bar – because they play music from back home… yeah, it must really suck here for you. I mean you have all these great people you will not talk to, places you will not see and not one word of Thai will you speak – and then you expect every Thai person to be a master at your language and have the punctuality of a Swiss watch…
You did not take in one cultural event, did not read one paragraph about the country, you did not even attempt to take in the bigger picture of a foreign country. But damn you can sure complain about garbage you see (without ever picking up your own), you complain about how Thais do things badly (differently) from your country. Best of all is when you paint all Thai people with a broad brush as to how intelligent, honest or nice they are based on one encounter – with one single Thai person. And suddenly Thailand sucks, they all suck, they are all bad, they are all *insert insult here*.
Please do me a favor and stay back in good ol’ wherever and vacation there too. These are the really worst of the worst. I want you to know that being a westerner you embarrass me. Every country has their good and bad, their honest and dishonest and Thailand is no different than any other place. Berating a former rice farmer from Issan for their lack of geo-politics is ignorant beyond belief. Please stay home. Or maybe read a little about Thailand before you come and actually take some time to meet some real people here.
Thailand is a great place, they do things differently here and if you come with an open mind you might go home with some different ideas about the world and people that will broaden your mind. Sounds amazing but it is true…
The Sex Tourist:
You read up all about Asian females on the places such as hotthaichicks.com, lbfm.org, and of course sextogoinaisa.com, and a such you are an expert on women in the East… and you come to do nothing but spend your days and nights in the bars seeing just how many “girls” you can go home with and you know deep down that every single woman just wants you. In fact you don’t mind propositioning peoples wives, girlfriends, store workers, nurses or frankly anyone wearing a dress… ’cause obviously your just so handsome and there was that road in Bangkok where everyone told you that you were too!
Personally what two people do between each other is none of my business and usually it is not. Most men have manners and kindness and a certain panache in these matters but,
But… then there are these other guys… the real dogs.
What I really hate is the strange racism that pervades the thoughts of so many of these men. Some weird little thought that every Asian woman is a sex-machine and that every woman in a bar has attained her dreams and goals of being a bar-girl and they never ever wanted anything else. What bothers me is that you don’t even treat them like a human being – insulting them, making jokes about them, treating them like animals – that somehow they are less than you, that somehow their lives are fulfilled just being used and abused by a fat f*** like you. Is your heart so bereft of compassion that you think all women are like this? You are one disturbed individual who I hope would stay home… I don’t need to hear another story of the intimate details of your night with a bar-girl telling me all about it like they are some disposable toy. Nobody wants to hear it. It’s not cool.. here is a thought – everyone is a human being, no different from you…
There is another sex tourist though that a lot of people from the West seem to forget about and that is the female sex tourist. Shocked? I have seen them with my own eyes… and let me tell you – they are no different than the men – no different. They latch onto the local boys and doing the same crap that the guys do… I see you, so does everyone else and you are just as bad as the men at this. Read the above and insert female instead of male. Bali, Africa and the Caribbean cater mostly to them but they are coming here in droves also. What gets me the most is that they think they are better than any male sex-tourist as they don’t give money for sex… no they just give “gifts” of money, gold etc.. At least the guys are honest, nothing is worse than a hypocrite in this area…
Came across a good video on it… yes, it’s in Bali but it’s no different here, and you are no different than any old guy in Pattaya… and its just as un-cool.
