Thailand Is Cheap –You’re Cheaper:

So how is it that you can afford to fly all the way to Thailand and then have to complain when beer in a restaurant is actually more expensive than at 7-11? Or you need to mercilessly bargain for over an hour with a beach hawker over 10 baht? or get all pissy when a resort actually charges 100 Baht more than five years ago! My only theory is that you thought maybe the Thai government gives out free vouchers at the airport for free food and lodging – but you never got yours and now your pissed?

I am not saying to throw your money around like an idiot, but seriously, you’re on holidays and that 15 Baht difference between Pad Thai on the road or in a restaurant is a concern? I have seen people buy beer from 7-11 and take it to restaurants to drink – or better yet sit in a restaurant and eat food and drink beer they bought off the road – and then get all offended when the owner of the restaurant says they cannot.

When you figured out that you wanted to come to Thailand did you just hop on a plane and come? You didn’t budget one little bit? Come on, Thailand is not the most expensive country – why do you have to be the cheapest person here?

Just because you Scream it Louder and Slower does not mean they understand you.

It may be amazing but Thais and other nationalities do not understand your language at all. Nope, never took a class, don’t want to and could care less about speaking your language. I know you speak it back home and its great and all, but you might actually want to try speaking in either A: Thai Language B: Standard English.

I know both choices suck, but nobody really speaks Finnish, French, Russian – yes that’s right comrade!, or Arabic here. Screaming at the poor waiter in Bulgarian for cold beer is not going to do anything for you or them. Screaming at people in 7-11 does not work, they are 7-11 employees for god’s sake – not linguistic graduates. Be grateful they can speak at all. Stop screaming… just calm down. I can only think about how bad you must be back home… you are on vacation here -relaxing right?

Topless at the Beach:

Okay, this is a win and lose thing for me, some days topless is good, other days I want to wash my eyes out with acid to clear the image of 300Kg and 60+ age. But there is the thing; here in Thailand it is illegal and actually quite rude. Sure, if you have to go ahead and find a nice deserted spot, nobody will care. The middle of White Sands? No – not a good idea. This is not your country and I know it sucks, and maybe I should not have mentioned it, but it is Thailand and they are actually against this. Although a lot of Western and Thai guys flock to White Sands for the daily shows…

Or Speedos on the Road:

I can sort of understand Speedos at the beach, sort of… but please, please, please for the love of humanity – keep them at the beach and not around the villages! Nothing like a 200kg guy at 80 years old slowly waddling down the road – in Speedos! Have you noticed that most Thai men wear long pants and shirts? Just cover up a wee bit okay? Please…

A Three Week Vacation – with Violence:

Back home you’re a weekend warrior, a fighter, a brawler, a rock and roller – or most likely a soccer fanatic. Here you are just another person on holidays, so have a good time…

I understand that back home in the ghetto you are from a person so much as looking at you for more than .256 seconds means fight time. But here in Koh Chang and Thailand in general, we are a lot more laid back, we might even be friendly… we might even be welcoming. You on the other hand are like firecracker about to go off at the slightest provocation. If you feel like winding up in jail or being gang-beaten by 25 young Thai/Cambodian lads who love muay-thai, just feel free to start something – there are hospitals here. Even better just relax and have a good time.

Oh-So Sorry About the Food!

It must be a real bitch to get on a plane and fly 10,000 km+ and get off and not be able to find faux-gras, blue cheese, Kobe beef, sirloin prime cut filets and smoked bacon and such exactly like you get back home. Damn, these foreign countries are such a slum, I mean they don’t even have caviar or good escargot on any menu and the beer is not made in an abbey by Monks from an original recipe from 1675… much less choice in the local vineyards also…

Please, you are in Thailand, the Thai food is great. The Western food? Well, most cooks are pretty good but they are not graduates from The French Culinary Institute, nor will they be. You are in Thailand, they cook great food but the best food will be Thai food. Try the Thai food if the western food is bad or alternatively head to Bangkok and hit D’Sens or L’Normandy at the Mandarin Oriental… they have awesome world-class food just be sure to take your MasterCard… and have a high limit on it.

Home is Just So Much Better:

Back in (fill in country here) things are just so much better – I know, I know, Thailand is just a cesspit of something or another and nothing is like good ol’ wherever. You spent your holiday in a tropical land staying in cheapest hotel, eating the cheapest food and hanging out with people from other countries who have not so much as talked a Thai person beyond ordering a meal. And your experience has been to hang out at the local bar – because they play music from back home… yeah, it must really suck here for you. I mean you have all these great people you will not talk to, places you will not see and not one word of Thai will you speak – and then you expect every Thai person to be a master at your language and have the punctuality of a Swiss watch…

You did not take in one cultural event, did not read one paragraph about the country, you did not even attempt to take in the bigger picture of a foreign country. But damn you can sure complain about garbage you see (without ever picking up your own), you complain about how Thais do things badly (differently) from your country. Best of all is when you paint all Thai people with a broad brush as to how intelligent, honest or nice they are based on one encounter – with one single Thai person. And suddenly Thailand sucks, they all suck, they are all bad, they are all *insert insult here*.

Please do me a favor and stay back in good ol’ wherever and vacation there too. These are the really worst of the worst. I want you to know that being a westerner you embarrass me.  Every country has their good and bad, their honest and dishonest and Thailand is no different than any other place. Berating a former rice farmer from Issan for their lack of geo-politics is ignorant beyond belief. Please stay home. Or maybe read a little about Thailand before you come and actually take some time to meet some real people here.

Thailand is a great place, they do things differently here and if you come with an open mind you might go home with some different ideas about the world and people that will broaden your mind. Sounds amazing but it is true…

The Sex Tourist:

You read up all about Asian females on the places such as hotthaichicks.com, lbfm.org, and of course sextogoinaisa.com, and a such you are an expert on women in the East… and you come to do nothing but spend your days and nights in the bars seeing just how many “girls” you can go home with and you know deep down that every single woman just wants you.  In fact you don’t mind propositioning peoples wives, girlfriends, store workers, nurses or frankly anyone wearing a dress… ’cause obviously your just so handsome and there was that road in Bangkok where everyone told you that you were too!

Personally what two people do between each other is none of my business and usually it is not. Most men have manners and kindness and a certain panache in these matters but,

But… then there are these other guys… the real dogs.

What I really hate is the strange racism that pervades the thoughts of so many of these men. Some weird little thought that every Asian woman is a sex-machine and that every woman in a bar has attained her dreams and goals of being a bar-girl and they never ever wanted anything else. What bothers me is that you don’t even treat them like a human being – insulting them, making jokes about them, treating them like animals – that somehow they are less than you, that somehow their lives are fulfilled just being used and abused by a fat f*** like you. Is your heart so bereft of compassion that you think all women are like this? You are one disturbed individual who I hope would stay home… I don’t need to hear another story of the intimate details of your night with a bar-girl telling me all about it like they are some disposable toy. Nobody wants to hear it. It’s not cool.. here is a thought – everyone is a human being, no different from you…

 There is another sex tourist though that a lot of people from the West seem to forget about and that is the female sex tourist. Shocked? I have seen them with my own eyes… and let me tell you – they are no different than the men – no different. They latch onto the local boys and  doing the same crap that the guys do… I see you, so does everyone else and you are just as bad as the men at this.  Read the above and insert female instead of male. Bali, Africa and the Caribbean cater mostly to them but they are coming here in droves also. What gets me the most is that they think they are better than any male sex-tourist as they don’t give money for sex… no they just give “gifts” of money, gold etc.. At least the guys are honest, nothing is worse than a hypocrite in this area…

Came across a good video on it… yes, it’s in Bali but it’s no different here, and you are no different than any old guy in Pattaya… and its just as un-cool.

Located on the eastern side of the island is the Koh Chang Combat range. you can take a quick course in gun handling, care and safety. learning gun safety is a skill that is good to have at anytime and here is a chance to get into it. You can learn from some Thai pros as to how handle, shoot and improve your marksmanship, have afun day out and probably do something you dont usually do back home!

As a side note did you know Rambo 3 was filmed in Thailand?

We have to admit we really like this video from the time lapse to the music. yes, the skies are that vast, the colors are this rich, the sea s this beautiful. Relax and enjoy the sites of Koh Chang we hope you enjoy this video as much as we did! It seems the videos and pictures from the island just keep getting better and better all the time.

For more information see: [sws_button class="" size="sws_btn_small" align="" href="http://kohchangsun.com/2010/06/koh-chang-island-guide/" target="_blank" label="The Island Guide" template="sws_btn_default" textcolor="" bgcolor="" bgcolorhover="" glow="sws_btn_glow"] [/sws_button]

The night was a great event with a sampling of their dishes, fresh sushi, Thai deserts and lots in between that all and of course the best part was the traditional Thai dancers they brought in to spice up the night!  We tried some of the dishes and have to say: excellent! And we are going back for more sushi! The fish are also guaranteed fresh as they are kept in holding tanks and prepared right on site. A small detail that some might think funny, but it does actually count on the detail and attention to service, the washrooms are something you find in only the best restaurants, immaculate and clean.

It is good to see such an investment in a restaurant here on the island. The owners have paid attention to every detail, they have an excellent menu, great tasting and good food, perfect service…. We are going to give Chow Lay Seafood here on Koh Chang a resounding “thumbs up” as some would say. Did we mention the sushi?

Found from India, through SE Asia to even Australia they thrive and live around coastal areas and major water sheds. Feeding on fish and sea snakes they skim low over the water and catch their meals while the prey is close to the surface of the water. They do not dive into the water like many other aerial predators.

They have been known to prey on sea turtles, sea snakes, fish, other birds and sometimes even get into fishing nets to get the fish.

  Jupe, who hails from Finland, is a pro-bartender and owner. No we are not talking about how he likes beer and knows how to mix a few cocktails… We are talking hardcore, serious bartending. He has won awards in Europe for cocktail making including awards by Finlandia (#2 out of 5,000), Jagermeister (#3 out of 2,000) and he has not just an everyday bartender certificate, he actually has a Bar Master Second Degree certificate under his belt (sounds a bit like karate!). So there is no fooling around here, he is serious about how to make drinks, how they get served and is very, very passionate about how his place is designed.

  We had to smile as the whole place is based on the ancient ideals of a Temple: and he wanted it that way. We are thinking in the old days it might have been a temple to Bacchus perhaps…The lounge is based on Earth, Fire, Water and Air, and they have all the elements. There is an inviting pond out front, a rock courtyard and the whole place is very airy and well ventilated with the lounge being an open and not stifling at all. Out front you should not be able to miss the place with a cattle skull and fire as the main and center object. Jupe is still working on the flame element out there, so it might be a gas flame by now, or it could still be a torch… either way it is fire…

  They wanted the lounge to be a place to relax and sit and spend a while so the seats have been installed with large couches, comfortable bar stools and nice touches like clean white walls, minimal decoration and other touches that a casual observer might miss like great bathrooms, wood floors, good electrical wiring (its a Koh Chang thing…) and wonderful lighting brought in from specialists in Bangkok.

 As always we asked how he wound up here and it was a common Koh Chang story. Jupe was in the nightclub industry in Finland for a very long time and got a call from a friend to come visit him here in Thailand. Heading into Bangkok he had a “quick” vacation to Koh Chang… it was supposed to be a few days and lasted more than a month after he met his future wife. They live here with their daughter and would not want to live anywhere else. They all say the island is great laid-back place to raise their family… and so here they are.

 LMS is a good bar-lounge for couples; there are no hostesses and no “Hello Welcome!” at all. We would recommend it for a date, relaxing, laid back and welcoming, good (actually awesome) drinks and (as he was sure to tell us) the music will match the crowd, hard rock or techno… no worries, a couple of hard drives and a good sound system ensure that. He is open late and Last Man Standing is an after-hours club, a good place to go when all the rest close.. so you can have a very nice late night and still keep the party on… and yes, they have some finger foods available!

 The ambiance is really good, the place is comfortable and relaxing, service is always quick and we can certainly recommend it for most people on the island.

 Or maybe you want to challenge him?  Jupe says has never been beaten and he says he always been: The Last Man Standing. A bit of the Old Wild West seems to be here, a certain duel, contenders… a small bar.  Put on some good Clint Eastwood Western music and who knows Reminds me of this:

 For us though we will just order his Prodigy drink and relax… Might be worth a good show to watch when a challenger does show up! You can ask him about what a Prodigy drink is…

We got the chance to meet up with them and ask about their lives, a very interesting story.

Okay, first the good news, all the boys are in school, homework has to be done first, no their parents are not bad people, they also work and none are unemployed, and these boys have some good dreams for their life. So you can rest assured that they are good kids… not just street urchins.

The boys unelected leader and spokesman has an older brother who taught the finer points of fire tossing and passed on the knowledge to his little brother, from there he taught some friends and after about a month of practice they lit their first sticks and off they went.

They said the practice without fire makes it fairly easy to learn (like many things at their age…that we should never do later in life like skateboarding after 30!) and the only tip they learned was to have very short hair… there have been incidents with that. So now the boys are clean-cut and look good.

The money they earn is all from tips and it amounts to a few thousand Baht a month that goes back to the family to help them all with the basic things in life. We asked them if they felt good about that or if they would rather have the money themselves. Now here is where some real pride comes in. They actually sat up a bit taller and said they were happy to be able to help their families, they felt really good about themselves. We could not help but think these kids are okay in our books.

Probably back in the West this would not go over so well, but Thailand is certainly deficient in social programs and so far so good and no accidents, no burns and just happy boys helping the families out. In case you are wondering, families here do what they can to survive and what these boys do – it does help. One cannot argue with that.

Their life is not so easy though. Their families are not wealthy, but they do insist on schooling so it is get up 4am (they have to go to Trat) and then back home, homework, dinner and out to the shows, then home and sleep. Repeat day after day.

But there was a deep pride in their eyes, they are helping out. Clean cut, good mannered kids. One wants to be a jail-guard (we have no idea why) two want to be police and one boy hopes to be a doctor.

So here is the deal. Maybe you see them and give a good tip, years later two might let you off on a speeding ticket, maybe one saves you from a critical heart attack or maybe one lets you get a bit more rice in your jail-bowl. No matter, helping them out, helps out everyone.

Catch them pretty well nightly in Kai Bae and Klong Prao. As they were leaving we asked them what their team name was, they said they do not have one. We joked and said they were a gang and so maybe they were like the fire-mafia, laughing they said they might just call their group that – The Fire Mafia!

Legend says that the god Indra created them in a magical forest so as to give a safe refuge to a Prince and his wife. Indra planted 16 of the magical Nareepon Trees and from them came these creatures that were beautiful females. There were two reasons to do this according to legend. The first reason was to catch the randy deities up and when they did mate with the Nareepon they would fall asleep and awake as mortals. The second reason was to protect the Princes wife from such randy deities… seems they were a bit of a pestering bunch back then.

After the Naree pon trees flowered the Naree Pon would be born four days later, all grown up, talking, singing and able to dance. Sadly though in just seven days they would wilt and die and start to shrivel until they were just the size of a fist.

Legend has it that the trees still exist and these two specimens are kept by Luang Pho Jarun at Wat Ampawan In Singburi in Thailand. They say test have been done and they show heart, lungs and other organs but no bones… These two artifacts are kept by Phra Ajarn Dton in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

Thailand is filled with legends and sometimes very strange facts, who knows.